Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.

Front: First comes love.  Then comes marriage.
Inside: Then everyone starts bugging you about having kids.

Front: Congratulations on your engagement.
Inside: Will it be an open bar?

Front: Thank you for including us in your special day.
Back: Will we be invited to your divorce proceedings too?

Front: Heard you got married.
Back: Guess some people weren’t invited.

Front: I always knew you two would get married.
Back: But that doesn’t mean I approve.

Front: You’re the type of couple that will be together forever.
Back: Yeah right. You don’t stand a chance.

Front: Marriage is a wonderful thing.
Back: For the first few months anyway.

Front: Congratulations.
Back: Remember, it’s not too late until you say “I do.”

Front: I heard you’re getting hitched.
Back: You get knocked up or something?