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Cards

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    BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

    Belated Birthday

    Front: I promise I didn’t forget your birthday.
    Inside: I just forgot to buy a card on time.

    $5.00
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    SOCIAL MEDIA WIN

    Belated Birthday

    Front: I know your birthday was the other day…
    Inside: I just needed social media to remind me.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    PICKY NOSE PICKER

    Birthday

    Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift.
    Inside: For people that are too damn picky.

    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    FUCKING BIRTHDAY

    Birthday

    Front: Heard that you’re celebrating a big day.
    Inside: Happy fucking birthday.

    $5.00
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    DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK

    Birthday

    Front: Got big birthday plans?
    Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?

    $5.00
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    NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL

    Birthday

    Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration.
    Inside: But I’m just giving you a card and buying take-out.

    $5.00
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    SILVER SHORT CURLY

    Birthday

    Front: Getting older isn’t so bad.
    Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.

    $5.00
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    BEST GIFT OF ALL

    Birthday

    Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love.
    Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?

    $5.00
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    ALL ABOUT YOU

    Birthday

    Front: Today is all about you.
    Inside: You’re so selfish.

    $5.00
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    TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT

    Birthday

    Front: Birthdays are a time to party.
    Inside: Too bad we’re too old for that shit.

    $5.00
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    OUT AND PROUD

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations on coming out.
    Inside: I’m fucking proud of you.

    $5.00
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    PRIDE BOT

    Cards

    Front: Love who you wanna love.
    Inside: I really don’t give a shit.

    $5.00
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    UNDERWEAR DON’T CARE

    Cards

    Front: You’re the best.
    Inside: No matter what’s in those undies.

    $5.00
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    SAME OLD JERK

    Cards

    Front: New name. New pronoun.
    Inside: Same old jerk on the inside.

    $5.00
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    MR. AND MR. ASSHOLE

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
    Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.

    $5.00
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    MRS. AND MRS. BITCH

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
    Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.

    $5.00
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    FAKE NEWS

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations.
    Inside: That’s fucking awesome news.

    $5.00
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    GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE

    Cards

    Front: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care.
    Inside: Now we’re just waiting for Santa’s fat ass.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Cards

    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree?
    Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?

    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    FLY RUDOLPH FLY

    Cards

    Front: I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly.
    Inside: Edibles.

    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
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    SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT

    Cards

    Front: I met Prancer and Vixen.
    Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.

    $5.00
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    EXPECT THE BEST

    Cards

    Front: This Christmas will be great.
    Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    DAMAGED GOODS

    Box Sets

    The “Damaged Goods” include a random mix of 10 of our greeting cards (and 10 envelopes) for only $10.00 (that’s 80% off regular price)! Sound too good to be true?  Well, there is a catch!…. The cards are all slightly damaged (hence the name).

    $10.00
  • Quick View

    COVID BLANK

    Cards

    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off.

    Inside: Blank

    $5.00

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  • Quick View

    BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

    Belated Birthday

    Front: I promise I didn’t forget your birthday.
    Inside: I just forgot to buy a card on time.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    SOCIAL MEDIA WIN

    Belated Birthday

    Front: I know your birthday was the other day…
    Inside: I just needed social media to remind me.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    PICKY NOSE PICKER

    Birthday

    Front: Gift cards are the perfect gift.
    Inside: For people that are too damn picky.

    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    FUCKING BIRTHDAY

    Birthday

    Front: Heard that you’re celebrating a big day.
    Inside: Happy fucking birthday.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    DAY DRINK DAY DRUNK

    Birthday

    Front: Got big birthday plans?
    Inside: Or another night of drinking alone?

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    NETFLIX, CARD, AND CHILL

    Birthday

    Front: You deserve a huge birthday celebration.
    Inside: But I’m just giving you a card and buying take-out.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    SILVER SHORT CURLY

    Birthday

    Front: Getting older isn’t so bad.
    Inside: Until the first grey pubic hair arrives.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    BEST GIFT OF ALL

    Birthday

    Front: Happy birthday to my dearest love.
    Inside: Instead of a gift can I just go down on you?

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    ALL ABOUT YOU

    Birthday

    Front: Today is all about you.
    Inside: You’re so selfish.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    TOO OLD FOR THAT SHIT

    Birthday

    Front: Birthdays are a time to party.
    Inside: Too bad we’re too old for that shit.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    OUT AND PROUD

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations on coming out.
    Inside: I’m fucking proud of you.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    PRIDE BOT

    Cards

    Front: Love who you wanna love.
    Inside: I really don’t give a shit.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    UNDERWEAR DON’T CARE

    Cards

    Front: You’re the best.
    Inside: No matter what’s in those undies.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    SAME OLD JERK

    Cards

    Front: New name. New pronoun.
    Inside: Same old jerk on the inside.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    MR. AND MR. ASSHOLE

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
    Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    MRS. AND MRS. BITCH

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations Mrs. and Mrs.
    Inside: You two bitches deserve each other.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    FAKE NEWS

    Cards

    Front: Congratulations.
    Inside: That’s fucking awesome news.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    GET YOUR FAT ASS OVER HERE

    Cards

    Front: The stockings are hung by the mantel with care.
    Inside: Now we’re just waiting for Santa’s fat ass.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    HIPPIE DIPPIE BOLOGNA

    Cards

    Front: Have you picked out your Christmas tree?
    Inside: Or are you one of those tree-loving hippies?

    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    FLY RUDOLPH FLY

    Cards

    Front: I know how Santa gets his reindeer to fly.
    Inside: Edibles.

    $5.00
  • Out Of Stock
    Quick View

    SANTA’S FAVE STRIP JOINT

    Cards

    Front: I met Prancer and Vixen.
    Inside: They work at a strip joint downtown.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    EXPECT THE BEST

    Cards

    Front: This Christmas will be great.
    Inside: As long as you buy me something fucking amazing.

    $5.00
  • Quick View

    DAMAGED GOODS

    Box Sets

    The “Damaged Goods” include a random mix of 10 of our greeting cards (and 10 envelopes) for only $10.00 (that’s 80% off regular price)! Sound too good to be true?  Well, there is a catch!…. The cards are all slightly damaged (hence the name).

    $10.00
  • Quick View

    COVID BLANK

    Cards

    Front: We’re ready for this asshole virus to fuck off.

    Inside: Blank

    $5.00
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